It gave a boost to my anxiety medication that I didn’t think was possible. If I go to practice feeling upset or angry, I leave calmer. I’ve learned how to meditate and calm myself during panic attacks without medication. It’s been an amazing experience for me over these last two years when I started to practice.

Physically, I’m stronger than I ever thought I could be. I’ve gotten more flexible than I ever thought was possible. I’ve never been able to touch my toes in my entire life. One practice about three months in, I touched my toes for the first time. I nearly cried in the middle of class. Now I’m learning arm balances and I’m super close to doing a headstand. All of these things I always believed were out of my reach. With yoga I’ve learned that it’s never what I can’t do, it’s about what I’m not able to do yet. And most importantly, it’s about trying. What’s the worst that can happen? You fail? Well, now you have a goal.

A friend of mine is a yoga psychotherapist, something I had never heard of before, but it made perfect sense. Yoga has helped me with my anxiety; I know it can be helpful to several others too! Then it dawned on me maybe I could use what I’ve learned to help others. As I was looking into getting my own yoga psychotherapist certification, my friend told me her office was about to offer their own school on yoga psychotherapy. The first step is a 200-hour certification, which is required by all yoga teachers. But in this program, they bring in the psychotherapy and science behind yoga, which is fascinating. This 200-hour program is also just one step toward a 1000-hour certification to be a full yoga psychotherapist.

The program has been fascinating so far, but after a few months, I started to wonder if I could even be a yoga teacher. Could I stand in front of people? Could I help them get into correct poses? Could I create a practice that makes sense and flows? My test came with our annual family trip to Galveston. My sister asked if I would lead yoga in the mornings, and I agreed. Then I had a complete panic attack. I would have to create a practice on my own, and one for those who have never really done yoga, like my mom and my aunt. Before we went down to Galveston, I went through my class materials and came up with four practices with four different themes. I couldn’t believe how much I enjoyed that. But then I had to teach my family, and that’s when the real enjoyment set in.

My students started to drop out each day for various reasons, but my aunt stuck through it and she liked having the private practices together. It was an amazing experience, one that taught a lot about what I can do as a teacher, what I need to do as a teacher, and what I should never do as a teacher. The next time I had to get up in front of my own certification class to teach a practice, I felt calmer and more ready to do what I needed.

This. This is what I love doing, and I never would have thought that this is a plan God has for my life. I’m already making plans to start a business with private sessions after I get my certificate in February. I still love writing about video games, so until that goes away completely, I’m not going to look for life in a studio doing group classes just yet. But I have already talked to my own teacher trainers about the second step for psychotherapy, which will start in April.

I’m not sure how I got here from being a paralegal or even a Russian major in college, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m looking forward to officially starting this next chapter in my career!

The post New Chapter in Career Life: Yoga appeared first on CrunchyChocobo.

This afternoon, I attended a detox class at my yoga studio. I was half-hoping it would teach how yoga detoxes the body, and it kind of did that, but it mostly focused on how to make the lifestyle change of daily detox. Thankfully, it wasn’t all about ramming vegetarianism or vegan lifestyles down your throat. Actually, the instructor said that it’s all about what works best for you, but there are some things you should absolutely avoid and others you need to add to your diet.

I learned a lot, I’ll say that, especially about the state of our food industry. I always heard about high fructose corn syrup being bad for you and that you should always look for grass-fed meats, but I was never once told why about any of these things. She broke it down for us, and I left the session feeling appalled at what is in my refrigerator and freezer. I also left feeling appalled at my palate, as I don’t like as many detoxing and healthy foods as I should be eating. I also like way too much “bad” food.

That’s pretty much everyone’s problem though, isn’t it? If healthy food tasted as delicious as unhealthy food, we’d all be in better shape!

The sad thing is knowing that as much as I would like to transition into this super healthy detox lifestyle, I know it won’t completely happen. Part of the reason is that I would have to cook two meals: one for me, one for my family. I could probably get the baby involved, as he eats nearly everything, but I have a super picky husband and a super picky eldest son. Take away processed food from them? Sugar? I might as well put a gun to my head, because there would be less complaining I’d have to deal with. Secondly, I don’t want to give up pasta. I’m also a picky eater, and pasta is one of the few things I can get creative with in the kitchen.

In addition, after looking over the detox meal plan, I know I would starve to death! Dieting is already hard as I hate being hungry (like most people, I’d wager), but to go from a pasta meal to a quinoa soup wouldn’t be safe for anyone around me.

So yeah, if you asked me why I wasn’t ready to make the jump to a paleo diet or a detox lifestyle, it’s because it’s super scary. I’m scared to try it, I’m scared of being hungrier than I already am, and I’m scared of my family’s reactions as well as my mood. Change is scary to begin with, but now you’re going to take away something I love–food?

After staring at her notes for awhile once I got home, I think I know what I’m going to do. She said that we had to figure out what works for us, and she gave us plenty of tips to start.

I am really going to try to cook more foods from scratch and cut down on the boxed dinners. I’m also going to cut down on the processed food, which will mean lots of studying of food labels. I also need to find a way too get in the healthy detoxing foods into my meals without soaking them in cheese to hide the taste.

I’m also going to do my darndest to cut down on the sugar. As I’m writing this, I really want to go bake some chocolate chip cookies. Technically, baking them myself is slightly better than buying already made, but not by much since all of the ingredients were still made in a plant. This last grocery trip, I didn’t buy any sweets for myself, and I’m going to do my best to keep it that way. I can’t cut sugar out of my life entirely, because I love cake way too much, and what’s the point of living if you’re going to cut out stuff you love? Even the instructor said she gives in to chocolate every now and then.

She also invited us to join her on a 7-day juice cleanse. Like that will ever happen. I want to lose weight and be healthy, not kill everyone in the process because I’m so bitchy from hunger.

The post It’s Scary to Detox! appeared first on CrunchyChocobo.